What Not To Say At A Funeral (An Unexpectedly Humorous Guide to Showing Up When It Matters Most)

A humorous grief guide, Brené Brown–style. Want to help someone who’s grieving but don’t know what to say? A compassionate, practical guide to supporting people through grief. Drawing on lived experience and deep empathy, Amy Havis explains why common phrases often cause harm—and offers better alternatives that communicate care, presence, and respect. For readers drawn to BRENÉ BROWN, IT’S OK THAT YOU’RE NOT OK, and THE ART OF SHOWING UP. Not all losses come with instructions. And most of us are never taught what to say when someone is grieving—so we say nothing at all. After losing her infant daughter, Amy Havis came face to face with how ill-equipped most of us are—not just to grieve our own losses, but to support one another through them. Drawing from lived experience, real-life scenarios, and hard-earned insight, Havis offers practical guidance for friends, families, coworkers, and communities navigating loss together. Part narrative non-fiction, part social guide, the book invites readers to let go of platitudes, resist silence, and choose presence instead. For grievers and the people who love them.