Upton Arms (A Retirement Home for Supernaturals)
- Availability: Confirm prior to ordering
- Branding: minimum 50 pieces (add’l costs below)
- Check Freight Rates (branded products only)
Branding Options (v), Availability & Lead Times
- 1-Color Imprint: $2.00 ea.
- Promo-Page Insert: $2.50 ea. (full-color printed, single-sided page)
- Belly-Band Wrap: $2.50 ea. (full-color printed)
- Set-Up Charge: $45 per decoration
- Availability: Product availability changes daily, so please confirm your quantity is available prior to placing an order.
- Branded Products: allow 10 business days from proof approval for production. Branding options may be limited or unavailable based on product design or cover artwork.
- Unbranded Products: allow 3-5 business days for shipping. All Unbranded items receive FREE ground shipping in the US. Inquire for international shipping.
- RETURNS/CANCELLATIONS: All orders, branded or unbranded, are NON-CANCELLABLE and NON-RETURNABLE once a purchase order has been received.
Product Details
Overview
What if eternal life wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Achy joints, cranky moods, and failing powers prove immortality is just late-onset death.
Such is the life of a six-hundred-something whose best years are in the rearview mirror—and Vlad can't even see himself in a mirror. Now living in Upton Arms, a retirement community for once-powerful supernatural beings, Vlad and his eccentric neighbors are learning a painful truth: life, even for immortals, is terminal.
Rising at dusk is a struggle, and turning into a bat? Forget it! Vlad’s stiff wings are more likely to cause a crash landing than a graceful flight. And when it comes to his hypnotic powers, he can’t even convince someone to grab him the remote control in the community room than control their will.
Just when Vlad thinks it can’t get worse, Upton Arms faces something more dangerous than his existential crisis—foreclosure. Vlad sees it as the final nail in his coffin, even as the other tenants rally behind Luis, a werewolf and unofficial pack leader. Together, they’ll fight for survival, and Vlad will discover a shocking truth: it’s not too late to start living again.
What We Do in the Shadows meets The Golden Girls—a laugh-out-loud paranormal comedy with heart. Full of dark humor, supernatural drama, and unforgettable characters, Upton Arms is a must-read for fans of quirky paranormal fiction.
