Say It Like You Mean It (The Science of Apologies and How They Might Just Save Us)

A surprising dive into the history and science of apologies, showing how our instinct to say "I'm sorry" might just be our salvation as a species.

We're taught from an early age that a good apology is an essential element of repair, a way of making and keeping friends, and helpful in moving on from conflicts, both small and large. But without regular use, that muscle grows weak, and our lives today are awash with half-hearted and insincere apologies. Whether it's a celebrity posting an apology online for past racist remarks, a CEO issuing a televised apology for corporate malfeasance, or just a friend cancelling dinner at the last minute, most of us have abandoned the earnest shows of reconciliation we learned on the playground.

We all apologize-we have to if we want to get through life. But what makes a “good” apology? When is one necessary, and when is it overkill? Why do members of some cultures seem to apologize more than others? And why does the average apology so often ring hollow? With fascinating case studies and original research, Say It Like You Mean It shows us why apologies have been, and continue to be, the key to our survival as a species.

In an ever more polarized world, it is essential to understand the role of remorse and the way that genuine reconciliation can fuel a brighter, more human future. Say It Like You Mean It is the perfect guide to understanding this human instinct and how to deploy it to make a better world for us all.