Ready to Heal (Helping Women Heal from Addictive Relationships)

When love hurts, you may wonder about your choice of romantic partners or risky sexual behaviors. Perhaps, like many others, you’re experiencing the raw pain of an addictive relationship—the kind that’s painful to be in, yet seemingly impossible to leave. A profound sense of emptiness can result. Repeatedly, you may feel pain, anger, and confusion rather than what you truly desire: closeness, warmth, and security. You may feel broken. The more you search for the comfort of closeness and safety, the deeper you sink into the quicksand of despair. As you read through the pages in this book, you will discover what happens when love and sex—our most primitive human needs—becomes a drug. This idea may be new to you. If you’re in the midst of recovering from other addictions, the concept may make sense but leave you asking, “What? There’s more work to do?” Ready to Heal explores how addictive relationship patterns get started and how to heal from the pain of destructive relationships. The phrase “love and sex addiction” will be referenced throughout the book as a way to name addictive patterns. While this term may not be one you would choose, that’s okay. It’s simply a name. Naming a problem is the first step toward healing. For a woman, healing from love and sex addiction requires an understanding of the disease from (1) an early rupture in attachment with your caregivers, and (2) patriarchal norms and expectations in culture. Both will be explored here.