How to Say Goodbye

“A poem to mortality and the beauty of how we can cope with it.”-Atul Gawande, author of Being Mortal

New York Times–bestselling artist Wendy MacNaughton shares wisdom from hospice caregivers: how to be, when to help, what to say-with full-color drawings throughout.

As artist-in-residence at the Zen Hospice Project Guest House in San Francisco, Wendy MacNaughton witnessed firsthand how difficult it is to know what to do when we're sharing final moments with a loved one. In this tenderly illustrated guide to saying goodbye, MacNaughton shows how to make sure those moments are meaningful. Using a framework of “the five things” taught to her by a professional caregiver, How to Say Goodbye provides a model for having conversations of love, respect, and closure: with the words “I forgive you,” “Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” “I love you,” and “Goodbye,” each oriented toward finding mutual peace and understanding when it matters most.

With a foreword by renowned physician and author BJ Miller, and practical resources, How to Say Goodbye features MacNaughton's drawn-from-life artwork from both the Zen Hospice Project Guest House and her own aunt's bedside as she died, paired with gentle advice from hospice caregivers on creating a positive sensory experience, acknowledging what you can't control, and sharing memories and gratitude. A poignant guide to embracing the present and deepening relationships during great vulnerability, How to Say Goodbye shows that just as there is no one right way to live a good life, there is no one right way to say goodbye. Whether we're confused, scared, or uncertain, this book is a starting point.