How to Love Men When You Hate Men

In this humorous yet deeply earnest reflection on love and relationships, the author of How to Date Men When You Hate Men and America the Beautiful? explores one of life’s greatest trials: actually loving a man.

In her twenties, Blythe Roberson was a woman who exclusively called herself a “girl,” one who had wildfire crushes on men, yet did something about them so rarely each kiss felt improbable to the point of miraculous. When she did stumble into longer-term entanglements, she doubted whether they were right. Nearly a decade later, Blythe is in her thirties and has fallen in love. She has achieved a good night’s sleep in the same bed as a man. She has gone on hormonal birth control, gotten HPV, and then beaten HPV. She has cleaned a man’s house, supported a man through grief, laid on a man’s chest in bed while he whispered, "On the count of three let’s both say our social security numbers."

But with her relative youth and all its undefined potential in the rearview mirror, Blythe must figure out what she actually wants from dating. And in finding out what she will and won’t do to be one-half of a couple, she finds one fully formed self—a self in pursuit of pleasure, kindness, and integrity. Returning to the page in her singular, comedic, and now slightly older and wiser voice, Blythe makes readers feel less alone as they deal with the pain—and the many pleasures—of loving men.

But more than a book about heartbreak or pain, this is a book about triumphs. It’s a book about finding love and learning what love is worth. After years of trying to convince men she was easy-going and not trying to pressure anyone into anything, and after years of trying to convince herself she didn’t need anything from a man and was okay just seeing where things led organically, Blythe lost all shame about her desire to love someone and to be loved. How To Love Men When You Hate Men is about the trials and the glories of both.

A Funny, Genuine Follow Up: A humorous but sincere exploration of love and commitment, and all the heartbreak they entail, by the author of How to Date Men When You Hate Men and America the Beautiful?

From Questioning Love to Celebrating Love: In her first book, How to Date Men When You Hate Men, Roberson wrote candidly about crushes, hooking up, and dating, even as she questioned whether relationships were right for her. In this follow up book, she reveals how she learned to leave behind her fear and shame and fall in love. She explains love’s joys and its pitfalls, and why it is the thing worth risking your heart and dignity (but never integrity!) for.

Moving from Youth to Adulthood: Roberson frames committed love as more challenging—and more rewarding—than casual dating, examining friendships, jealousy, breakups, marriage, and children.

The Essential Human Emotion: Written in her signature comedic voice, How to Love Men When You Hate Men reassures readers that love is real, difficult, and worth experiencing.