Chasing Totality (A Smuggler's True Story of Cannabis Scores, Psychedelic Exploration, and Redemption in Fatherhood)

“Chasing Totality is required reading for anyone brave enough to ask what wisdom and becoming a modern elder actually costs.”—Chip Conley, NY Times Bestselling Author

With a Foreword by Jamie Wheal

Growing up in suburban Los Angeles, enraptured by surfing and rock n’ roll, Steve Marshank’s life was an idyllic façade cloaking family dysfunction and post-war trauma. At an early age, he was drawn to the counterculture that questioned the restrictive hypocrisy of a middle-class value system. By his mid-teens, Marshank was making trips north to San Francisco, experimenting with LSD, exploring meditation, and growing his hair long. When he turned 18 in 1968, he was already operating in a tumultuous and radically transformed world. Like many people his age, he was deeply uncertain, and yet at the same time, he was seeking something more.

Cannabis offered Marshank a pathway. Driven by an innate business sense, he became a dealer, first in high school, then at a larger scale in California, before eventually smuggling it—in massive quantities—across the United States and the world. At the same time, Marshank’s desire for personal growth fueled a deep curiosity, seeking wisdom of spirituality, love, and transcendence, sitting at the feet of Tibetan lamas and Sufi teachers few Westerners have ever had the privilege of meeting. Then he became a father, and the ground shifted. He had never bargained for love this strong. As times change, risks increase, and responsibilities mount, can enlightened aspirations continue to steer his course?

In Chasing Totality, we are invited to ride shotgun with a freewheeling iconoclast. While one can read the story as a raucous outlaw odyssey, Marshank’s adventures also double as teachings—on love, enlightenment, and relationships. Ultimately, the book is about growing up without giving up: on your dreams, the people you love, and most importantly, yourself.