Addicted to Perfect (A Journey Out of the Grips of Adderall)

Author Vitale Buford fell victim to the perfection trap as a young child. She was raised in a home with two workaholic parents who always prioritized work. Her mom was also an alcoholic. This combination created an environment of neglect, where the only way Vitale got attention was to be perfect. She was praised for being an “easy child” and self-motivated, so that’s what she tried to be. Her need for perfection and outside success was coupled with an obsession with her body image. She was molested at the age of three, and this created body shame and the need to have the perfect body. It was the perfect storm – she tied her self-worth to her outside success and her outward appearance, and hence, her addiction to perfection was born. This followed her into college where she started gaining weight and became obsessed with dieting to make her body smaller and more acceptable. She worked hard in college and got good grades, but her body shame was all consuming. Her junior year of college, she was introduced to Adderall by her boyfriend. He was prescribed the drug for ADHD, but it was a widely used “study drug” on campus. She used it for a few months – and ended up losing 20 pounds and got her best grades ever with her most rigorous course load. She discovered that it was the “perfect drug.” She was able to obtain her own prescription the following year – during her senior year of college. It hooked her immediately, and she became addicted. She was addicted to the perfection and the weight loss and her ability to accomplish projects and tasks with ease. This was the beginning of a 10-year love affair with Adderall. In Addicted to Perfect, Vitale shares the highs and lows of having been a slave to Adderall, the destructive relationships that ensued, and the way that she finally broke free. She teaches people how to take inventory, “get uncomfortable”; discard excuses; reframe their mindsets; become accountable; let go of shame, guilt, fear, and self-judgment; break through the hold that Adderall has on them; and, most importantly, replace perfection with self-love.